Happy New Year!
Reflecting upon our UU Values, I wanted to highlight-Generosity- not in a asking for money sort of way, or even in an ask for committee work, or an ask that puts you outside of yourself. Generosity is my favorite value amongst the 6 UU values. It asks us to offer a little of ourselves to gain access to something much greater than ourselves, to lean on understanding far more than any rule or orthodoxy.
I have a true story to share and some questions for you all to think about, to feel your way through. The story is a true story too. And, maybe it is a little more than the reader’s digest version of a typical newsletter post–so please bear with me a little
Between church meetings, and visitations I had to stop at a store. Not quite a lunch break, and not quite time to linger, I was in a rush. I had to pick up items for the family–not yet in need of a full grocery run, just some things for our lunches, some staples, milk, eggs, etc… and things from the deli. I walked up to the deli counter. There is a line–of course, there is a line. I’m in a hurry.
A man, an aged white man flannel jacket (my kids would call it a shacket, but I am sure it is far older than that new word) tattered and worn. He was sitting in a grocery cart wheel chair, a tall man, easily 6’5’’ –he was waiting in front of me.
In front of the deli counter were shelves of items for sale. And we are standing in the view of the double door exit, where other customers are coming and going. The grocery carts are there, and it is slim pickings.
I couldn’t see the lady behind the counter. I could see her muffled form through the glass, and her hairnet dancing above the scale, and the debris over the whole counter–stuff just seems to fill every space.
I’m doing the calculus of how much of what my kids might eat, how much they might want to pack for lunches, and the cost per unit. All headspace work, while noticing these folks going through their day–somewhat oscillating between the blithe masks and the morose underpinnings of today.
Someone gently slides an arm around my elbow, between my arm and torso and we’re now in a ‘Donner Le Bras’ sort of embrace. I look down and see a sweet woman, pixie cut white hair–easily in her 90s–bubbly….”Where do you live?” She asks.
Surprised by the swift and soft embrace, and the culture I was raised in, kicks in and “Yes, Ma’am” flows throughout our conversation–she informs me of the better places to get deer processed.
Customers are coming through those exit doors. The bustling of the store has no carts visible to me. A family stands in the center of the doorway, lifting their bags and emptying their cart, offering it to a passerby, a man–a white man, scruffy beard and a posture like he was a lineman 30 or so years ago in his small town HS prime.
“‘Racial Slur’–move out the way” was directed toward the teen aged son of this seemingly mixed raced family, offering him a cart. That scene quickly evaporates with the family rushing on and the lineman white man hastily walking off.
The little old white lady on my arm is still talking about deer meat and wild game, and I’m responding the best I can–given this exchange I witnessed.
Her voice shifts as asks the man in front of me, the tone changes from sweetness to scolding. She tells him that they’ll have me over and he’ll take me shooting down their range.
His order is ready. The deli worker places it on the counter, just beyond his reach. He tries anyway, and knocks it off the counter. I catch it before it falls to the shelf impeding his access to the counter.
I hand off the deli meat and politely decline the gun range invitation and the two of them are gone with the same swiftness of her upon my arm.
This exchange at a deli counter offered me a chance to reflect on generosity, and the way we can be generous with our presence. Situations arrive and we can choose to be generous or we can choose something else. In the throes of class and capitalism, Of race and racism, amongst the White supremacy culture– we can choose our responses, aspiring to something bigger than ourselves: Beloved Community.
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- How often do we overlook opportunities to be present in the mundane moments of our lives?
- How do we respond to clear and blatant racism? How do we respond to innuendo and less blatant forms of racism?
- What does it mean to be present for someone in the here and now?
- How can we be generous with our courage in such moments, showing presence not just to those we are comfortable with but to those most vulnerable?
- How do we receive the presence or generosity from others?
- Where can you place yourself in proximity to someone who is marginalized?
- How can you be an accomplice, disrupting systems of harm?
- How can you advocate, raising your voice for justice?
The deli counter, like life itself, is a place of intersection—of chaos, connection, and complexity. As 2025 unfolds, let us bring presence and generosity to those intersections, making them spaces of healing and grace, centering in Love. May it be so.
Happy New Year,
Rev. Will